I was going to talk to the Lady of Cats about a conference I found online while she was at work, but while she was cleaning cat boxes and washing bowls, she received a Facebook message that made her look quietly at the screen for a very long while. She cleaned some more, and then came back and looked again. Then she picked up the phone.
The Facebook message had said just "Hi, can we talk?" And a phone number.
I listened while the Lady absently walked over to the couch and sat down, wedging me into the corner of her elbow. After a while I could tell that the caller was someone who had adopted a cat from her many long years earlier. "Jack" was very ill with kidney disease and tonight would be his last night. The caller wanted to talk to someone while she sat with Jack, on his last night. This was the first time my Lady has spoken to the adopter in over 10 years.
I didn't realize this was something cat Ladies did. I didn't realize that there was that kind of gentle but strong bond between Ladies and their adopters. But listening, I learned that it was part of the story of ladies who rescue cats.
It was a very long conversation, and very kind, and very sad, yet very happy. Jack had taught many children, and even adults, to love cats. I overheard many stories of Jack's life. The adopter felt she was making the right decision. Jack no longer wanted to eat. He was skinny and weak. But still, just the other day he caught a mouse! How do you decide when to let a cat go? One thing the Lady said struck me. She said "You know, there is never a right time to let a cat go. There is only 'a little too soon' and 'a little too late.' You might always wonder if your cat might have had a day or two more if you let him go a little too soon. But if you let him go a little too late, we are always haunted by the cat's pain or distress and will ache because you didn't help him sooner. So you can only make your best guess for your friend. They let you know when it's time to go, but because you love your cat you won't want to believe it. You will never be certain, until your friend is in distress. So better to be a few hours too early than a few hours too late."
The caller couldn't imagine coming home to an empty house with no one to care for. She wondered if it was wrong to want to rescue a new cat so soon after letting Jack go, or even talk about it before he was gone.
I don't think so. I think that if there is hole in your heart, and you want to fill it, you should. Some people need to keep the hole empty, to honor who they have lost, for a time. I understand this, too. But others want to fill the hole right away, because the one they just lost had showed them just how valuable a loving heart is. Some people don't want to come home to a house with shadow memories of their cat. They want another cat to play with the shadows, and wind them all up in purrs, and remind them how much they loved before, and can love again.
The caller was very kind to my Lady. I think the call seemed to remind my Lady of what used to be important to her, in rescuing cats. She had told me she had been doing this a long time, and worried she was forgetting how rescue truly mattered. After she hung up the phone, she smiled very softly and very sadly, and spent a lot of time looking at old stories and photos on her blogs.
Then she hugged me, and put me down. She picked up a big, young orange cat and gave him a strong but gentle hug. She set him down and walked away.
This is not what I expected to learn today.
(Return to my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/wikithewonderingcat )
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